Oooooh, buuuurrrned!
Let us know if they make good on their return guarantee. You know, when the time comes.
Actually, an even better service would be to just eat the 40 bucks and cut the sucker open to check the numbers on the internal pixie dust infusilators. With those, we should be able to reverse-engineer the components and figure out exactly where in the process the magic happens. Take lots of pictures.