Where the hell is it!i have done this many times on other cars,but I can't find this one.It is not right above the pan as my Chilton's says it is.
  Need help to fix this,as I am tired of having to warm it up in gear every day.
  it is a 91 4 door Sidekick by the way.1.6 8v 3 speed auto

passenger side rear corner of the pan .. a hard line runs along the pass. side of the pan where it hocks to a vacuum hose leading to the intake manifold.

but, are you sure your fluid level isn't low?
mine can pause for a second when VERY cold before it enguages, but only for a second (and if I let it warmup for 5 minutes, it shifts right in).

  Yeah,it's full,and I have just changed the fluid.it will hold first gear or slip if I don't warm it up in gear for a few minutes.
  I checked the location you mentioned and it is not there.I thought it should be there and my Chiltons said that as well,but it ain't there.

It is where SnoFalls said it is.  It is gold colored (at least the ones I have seen have been).

Ahhh.  I thought I had a pic of it, but I can't find it.  You should know what it is, when you see it.

   I just found what is left of it,and that aint too much.Somehow the modulator valve has gotten broken right behind the diaphram.This would also explain the tranny leak i developed about a week ago,but I can't understand how the tranny shifted at all.I was worse today,so I turned around and went home,and took my Suburban .
   Appearantly it must have just let go,cause I can't believe the tranny was shifting at all,even after warming it up,with the valve broken that bad.
  At least I can still get a wrench opn it,so at least it aint all bad.

The modulator only really changes shift points during accel/decel. So, even without vacuum, the tranny could shift on just fluid pressure. (I *think*)

But being "snapped" sounds like "thars your problem!"