I'm not pickng yer stuff apart, I don't now how to make multiple quotes here to give you my thoughts on each item, so here it goes.
limited steering- Not really.  In fact, it's improved.  Let me explain.  When wheeling, and torque is on the tires, the detroit is locked, even if turning, it's still locked, so the net effect will be the same as if it's spooled, or locked/spooled on demand (ARB).  There is not differenct trying to turn a engaged-locker rig than a spooled rig in the rocks and dirt.  In fact, when I wheel my Sammy, sometimes the front Lockrite is engaged during a turn, and driving me straight when I'm turned.  I usually got to do this throttle blurp thing to get it to snap, unlock, and make turning easier.
Two things.  One, a switch to simply turn it off would make that situation so much easier.  Two, the is one of the places where that load/unload keeps taking place, each time weaking the joint.
manual operation.... I dont get half way up a hill, start spinning, realize I need the locker, stop, lock it in , and then attempt to get started again in the middle of a hard obsticle.  - In my GV, where the ARB resides, I try to leave the locker off on parts of the trail where it's not needed.  Less stress, more filing.
 Wheeling experience will tell you when you need it or not, as you become more familiar with your rig's capability.  You, and the experience you have with your rig, would be slappin' ARB switches on and off like your were Scotty in the engine room.  Believe me on this, the ability for the driver to make the choice of when to be locked is far better than that the locker making that choice "automatically".  Remember, an ARB can be turned on and off at speeds over 60MPH.
I was once a nay sayer about ARBs, or any switchable locker.  For one, it was too much cash I thought, and I didn't like the idea that if I was on the road locked, I couldn't differentiate axles.  And I didn't see the need.  But time has changed that impression.  On the road, *flick* and I'm open and completely transparent.  My Sammy sucks on the road, even for small rides to trail heads, mainly due to the twitchy Lockrite.
And I've had my fair share and as well witnessed a boatload of lunchbox locker ills.  I've shattered a Lockright, stripped teeth in another, and seen several Detroits and Lockrights do the same thing.  The way they can munch down pins and springs, it would seem to be lunchbox lockers main food source.  And any deviation in the tube's straightness (and we know how tough Zook tubes are
), a locker will snap and pop all the time.
I don't call them lunchbox lockers in a disparaging way.  It's a term used to describe that type of locker compared to a full Detroit-type that replaces the entire carrier.  The lunchbox works inside the stock carrier, hench "lunchbox".  The cost less, but you resue the weaker stock carrier.  Which brings a second point,  the stock Zook carriers are not as strong as the carriers of a full-Detroit or an ARB.  I've seen many rear axles go, and especially in Kick diffs, take out the sidegear and many times, the carrier as well.
When I shattered the
BIG GV axle, I drove it 5+ miles out of the park.  I figured the ARB carrier toast
, based on my experience with similar breaks with rear Kick 3rds.  Nope, all good, even though the break was so bad it would have wasted a stock carrier, and many others there commented.  Some minor damage to one of the carrier caps, due mainly to my self extracation.  A quick call to ARB resulted in the replacement part and some extra back-up parts for a low price (under $50) and FAST.  The service alone is a reason to own an ARB, really.
I'm not bashing the use of lunchboxes, hell, I've got them front and rear in my Sammy.  I got the ARB mainly because I wanted my GV to be nice, and mostly roadable.  The ARB was the only transparent locker available.  I wish there was an E-locker, just so I could eliminate the only weak link in the the ARB, the use of air.  Even that, if carefully installed, is never a problem.
But being a ARB user now, I'm converted.  Almost evangelical.  A couple of good Zook buddies from New England have "see the light", and now that they have them, love them too, same reasons.  Wildweasel put them in his new Kick LA coily, and is very happy with his choice.  The only times I've heard of dislikes (besides high price) is the air leak/air pump issues.  Air leaks are almost always a install issue, but sometimes trail damage.  Pump issues almost always due to low maintainence or poor mounting location (engine bay)
As for the front CV issue, you can ask Kerry.  He still breaks CVs now that he's welded, but nowhere like he did when he was locked.  He'd do 3+ halfshafts in a days wheeling!  We both agreed that a ARB would prolly be the best for a non-trailer queen (his is trailered everywhere).
IMHO, my ARB has been worth every penny I spent on it.  I only wish I had the fund to install them in my Sam.  I think if you were able to have them in your rig, and wheel a while with them, you be like, "Wow, where have these things been all my life?".  I was.  Then again, I just bought a powerwasher and I wondered how I ever lived without it. (I'm 36)